I have been such a bad blogger!!!

As everyone will have noticed by now - it has been months since my last posting. I am a very bad blogger!

The reason why - well after much heartache and soul searching we have made the very difficult decision to switch countries.

With each month we watched sadly as the China allocations became smaller and smaller. Now a lot of people are living in optimism land - telling each other that things will speed up. But I am a bit of a realist and needed to take some control back in this very disempowering journey. I predict that for April 07 LID it will be at least another 4 years before allocation. Yes, there are people switching (like us) and that might speed things up a little. But there is also a reduction in the number of babies available and most recently I read that China is looking at ceasing it's one child policy which will impact on the wait times.

Anyway, Wally and I decided that we couldn't take the uncertainty of China (yes, I know that no adoption process is certain - but educated assumptions can be made).

So we embarked on switching countries. After much research and discussion we have chosen Thailand. We have requested a girl as we had all been picturing our lives with a sister/daughter and we couldn't bare to let it go. And because of our ages we have been informed that we will most likely be allocated a 2-3 year old.

So our little "Tiger" as we've nicknamed her will hopefully be with us sometime next year! Yes 2009! The current average wait time for Thailand is 14 months (but you can wait longer for a girl we've been told)

So now you know. I haven't wanted to post on this site because obviously it is called "Hearts in China" and I was feeling like I had betrayed our Chinese daughter. But I now realise that our daughter is waiting for us, we just weren't sure where and it turns out she is in Thailand.

I wonder if I can change the title of the blog??? Must have a little play and check it out.

Love and light.

Tina Marie

Sorry I've been neglecting my blog!

Haven't really felt like posting for a while. But just as a quick catch up.

Wally has been going great guns at uni (Masters in Primary School Teaching). He is volunteering a day a week at Amelia's school to.

I've started assisting at the school with Buddhist scripture. I really went to sit in the back of the class so I could learn more but the nun decided I was to become her assistant. I have always been interested in Buddhism, the concept of internal peace, seeking enlightenment and reincarnation appeals to me (and it might help with the wait).

I also went to my first yoga class in many years. I over did it as usual but enjoyed the time to myself and focusing on the mind/body/spirit connection.

I wish I felt inspired to write something of literary brilliance (or at least vaguely interesting). But alas I am an empty vessel at the moment.

Hopefully I can be more inspiring next time I post.

Love and light

PS: I also bought a Ukulele today - have learnt three cords already and signed up for a Saturday class to learn how to play.

What did the tarot card reader say?

I was helping build a vegie patch at my daughter's school today (they also had a market day) and decided I needed some inspiration so had my cards read.

(This photo of me is pretty scary but don't be worried - it was taken in costume at our Winter Magic Festival - I am supposed to be a celtic warrior woman!)


The reader said that she could see a baby boy! A boy I exclaimed! Then after telling her about our situation she still said it would be a boy - 11months old and very chubby!


Well I suppose it could happen like that but I must admit we would be a bit disappointed as we have visualised a daughter.

She also said that she can see it happening "sooner rather than later"??? If only I could believe it! I have been very naughty and reading Rumour Queen again (it becomes an addiction). And the predictions are terrible. For 07 LID's they predict that if the CCAA continues to allocate only 7 days per month then I will have a wait of 6 years!!!! 6 years!!!!!


I can't believe that it could be 6 years!! Surely not!!!


I pray and hope that CCAA will speed up. If they do 14 days a month apparently it will work out to be a 4 year wait (I was really expecting 3 but what can you do?????)


She also said that I need to get in contact with the passionate, beautiful, domestic goddess within, that I think too much (so true) and that I have blocked chi energy (suggested yoga - which I have been trying to get to for the past few months).

Cheers for now all you beautiful people out there.

Feeling a bit Hum Drum today!

Cough, cough, splutter, cough! Does this sound familiar? I am sure that half of Sydney has this damned awful cold!

Wally had it, Amelia is recovering and I am coming down with it! Aggghhhh!

This photo is of Amelia and I at our annual Winter Magic Festival. The community get dressed up and throw themselves into the spirit of Winter Solstice. I am the warrior icemaiden (hence the axe).

I absolutely love living in the Blue Mountains - it's such a wonderful community.

Haven't looked at RQ today (that's Rumour Queen which is an American website with rumours on where China is up to with adoptions etc - for those of you reading who may not know). I am trying to limit my exposure as it can cause me to develop high anxiety and depression. Better to continue to drift along in my positive affirmations of a sped up with referrals.

Can't seem to sleep tonight even though I'm sick and have to get up and be a brave little soldier and go to work tomorrow.

I work as an Events Coordinator and whilst the job is OK and the people I work with are great I seem to have lost my enthusiasm for it. I have been working in culture and events for close to 20 years now and perhaps I'm feeling its time for a change? Hmmm what would I be if I could do it all again? Maybe an archeologist? An astronaught? A philosopher? A professional salsa dancer? I wish I knew how to post a poll? It would be a good one. Maybe I'll give it a go but I can't promise anything.

Better go and try to sleep. Warm milk perhaps? The camomile tea definitely didn't do the trick?

Good night all.

Tina Marie

Ruby Bloomers Womens Circus

OK so now I'm going to explain the banner !

As you can see by the photo I am involved in a fabulous community project called the Ruby Bloomers Women's Circus. (I'm the one on the far left peeping out from the bottom). We are performing our new show called "If the Shoe Fits" at Blackheath Community Hall (for any of you who happen to live in Sydney and want to come along and support a worthy charity) Sat 21 7pm and Sun 22 2pm. One of our members is working in Peru assisting to set up a charity to advocate for sick and abandoned children. The circus is fabulous, a great way to keep fit, be creative and meet a great bunch of women (who happen to range in age from 21 to 61yrs!).

Seriously now, I am feeling a bit depressed today. Reading the Rumour Queen website the predictions for our wait have gone from 2-3 years to 3-4 years. Yipes, will it continue to rise?? I know that no-one can really predict the timeframes but again - yipes!

Hubby and I are keen to do a 100 wishes quilt. Very exciting. Anyone done one?

Anyway must go and make a cuppa.

Love and light to you all.

We are so excited!

Hubby and I were sooooo excited receiving comments. Sounds very corny but we were like little kids with a new toy.

A bit of background is probably called for now.

How did we come to this place? What led us to the decision to adopt?

Wally and I were brought together late in life, we both had very rich and full past lives which included a 17 year marriage for Wally and a couple of "live-in" boyfriends for me (well if the truth be known I had been engaged 3 times but was the poster girl for cold feet!) We met 5 years ago now at a dinner party. It was obvious pretty early on that we were from two very different worlds.

Him - country cop, three teenage sons, football loving, meat eating, blokey bloke.

Me - cafe late drinking, arty farty, animal liberationist, vegetarian, inner city dweller with a baby daughter.

Get the picture? I think that some of the first words to come out of my mouth that night were "oh, you're a policeman - I love the Bill!" What the hell was I thinking????

Despite our monumentous differences I think that we clicked because we had similar souls. I know hippy, trippy talking about souls but I do believe that our souls connected that night in a way which has resulted in a life long committment. He says it was because I had fabulous cleavage!!! Go figure!!

We have indeed enriched each other lives - he has introduced me to country music and I have taught him how to meditate. He has given me a sense of stability and groundedness (if there is such a word) while I have allowed him the freedom to explore and fly.

It was a difficult learning curve for both of us going from 3 teenage boys to a 3 year old girl and vice-a-verse-a.

The boys came to stay in holidays, the eldest Wes, lived with us for a while but all three are now pretty much independent (Wes is getting married in January). Amelia threw the typical toddler tantrums having to share mummy but she and Wally now have such an enormously strong bond. We are in the process of finalising a step-parent adoption.

Well I am rambling on and on. But it gives you a good background. Oh yeah, I did eventually make it down the aisle - well the beach to be more precise. Wally and I were married at Cronulla beach in 2003. One of the happiest days of my life (I know every bride says that!).

I had told him from the very beginning that I wanted more children. He wasn't sure. After all the vasectomy pretty much spelt out his feelings about planting any more seed! But as with many men, this decision was made thinking that he would be with the same woman forever. The universe had other plans for him though. So just before the wedding we had the snip reversed in the hope of bringing more babies into the world. Unfortunately, the universe laughed heartily at our foolish plans. Three years and 10 IVF cycles later and we conceded defeat! We had to follow a different route - we would still search for our precious little soul but she will be coming to us from a far off land now. Destiny was dictating our path. I am trying to be all Zen about it.

Well I have to go and put up a banner on the Great Western Highway - running late now because of my very long novel-like blog today. I will explain the banner tomorrow.

Ciao

Our very first post!

OK, we have overcome our massive fear of anything technological and hopefully I won't do anything wrong and completely bugger up what I've set up thus far!

It seemed like a good idea at the time but now I need to write something that is worthy of someone else reading???

This site was set up as a stress relief to the horrible tedium of our long wait until we meet our baby girl in China. We're guessing sometime in 2010.

It also will serve as a record of our journey, the ups, downs, rantings, ravings, chocolate induced hysteria, the rich tapestry of life for a waiting family!

One day our precious bundle will be able to read this and see that she was greatly loved and adored even before her conception.

I am sure that I will have something more profound to say next time I post. But for now I think this is a damn good start!

Hooray for me!